Products for sexy, smooth hands
August 9, 2012 | 1:00 pm
(Updated: January 17, 2013 | 3:52 pm)
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? – Single.
There is never an excuse for cracked, dry hands and long painful fingernails on any lady, given the plethora of beauty products out there that specifically target these lesbian taboos. Along with a good nail file, bellow are five tools that can help anyone from lipstick lesbians to outdoorsbians obtain the three S’s of safe-sex lesbian hands: smooth, soft and short (nails that is).
Aveeno Intense Relief Hand Cream ($6.99 at drugstores)
Rated as one of the best hand creams on the market, this cost-friendly lotion contains a relaxing oat scent thanks to the ultra-soothing ingredient of colloidal oatmeal. Once more, the moisturizing power of this cream will last all day (and night); even after multiple hand washings; you dirty dog, you.
Sally Hansen VitaSurge
Cuticle Gel ($5.99 at drugstores)
This vitamin E packed cuticle gel is easy to apply with its sponge-tip applicator, allowing you to achieve spa-like hands sans the pricey manicure.
Elemental Herbology Wind and Cold Therapy ($38 at elementalherbologyus.com)
Snuggling up with your honey on a cold day may be nice, but no one likes to see a pair of cracked, dull lips coming in for a wintery kiss, or holding a hand in the same condition. Elemental Herbology Wind and Cold Therapy helps sooth cold-bitten skin with an ointment-like formula that contains shea butter, vitamin E and calendula.
Bath & Body Works Pocket-Bac Anti-Bacterial Hand Gel ($1.50 at Bath & Body Works)
You best be sanitizing those mittens before any sexual fun with your significant other, but sometimes a bathroom break is the surest way to halt the hot mood you have been creating. Luckily Bath & Body Works makes a pocket-friendly (that is if you still have your pants on) anti-bacterial hand gel in a variety of friendly smells, allowing you to discreetly disinfect before the real fun begins.
Bliss Glamour Gloves ($48 at Ulta Beauty)
For those that find daily moisturizing a chore, just wearing these moisturizer-packed gloves for twenty minutes a day can help soften hard hands with a self-activating gel lining that contains olive oil, vitamin E and jojoba oil. With a shelf life of 50 uses and an unintimidating application, Bliss Glamour Gloves gives those with rough fingers an easier way to obtain smooth, soft hands.