My wedding, my way
May 18, 2012 | 12:00 am
(Updated: February 25, 2013 | 5:29 pm)
You read it right, it’s true. I am getting married.
I’m still in a kind of shock. She even got down on one knee in front of my friends at a dinner party – it was like a movie.
She didn’t ask my dad. He’s kinda scary, in that lovable, curmudgeonly, fatherly kind of way. My sister, like me, never thought I would get married, so she’s really excited. My mother and brother are shouting with joy.
I talked about getting married for the first 38 years of my life. Then I figured it wasn’t going to happen and stopped talking about it. So a friend recently asked me why I’m doing it – it’s such a decidedly conventional thing for such an unconventional girl like me.
Though I like to think of myself as being a very sharp, savvy Gal On The Move, privately I’m finding myself turning into a ridiculous girl. I get moony when I say “my fiancé.” I’m daydreaming about the wedding pictures – I keep changing my outfit. I wonder if I could get Darius Rucker to perform at the party?
I’ve been in weddings before. I’ve been a bridesmaid a couple of times, a maid of honor and a celebrant at two commitment ceremonies in the last year. Now I’m on the other side.
Why am I getting married? The simple answer is, she asked me. She’s the first person who’s been so optimistic about wanting to spend the rest of her life with me.
Does she really know what she’s getting herself into? She says she “knew the job when she took it.” We all know that’s not true – I never know what’s going to happen with me so how could she be so sure that she does? But she’s optimistic, and now we’ll be optimistic together.
Everyone wants details on our wedding plans. When is it? Where? I floated a few sketchy ideas at a family gathering and was told flat-out that it “can’t” be like that because this person wanted to do this, and that my fiancé ‘s family would want that.
I’m sorry but this is my wedding. I’m not going all “Bridezilla” on people but if I do or don’t want something for this wedding, it’s my choice.
Now if my wusband-to-be has something that she really wants included, I will do everything in my power to make it happen. Otherwise, my wedding, my way.
One of my favorite things about being a lesbian is spending so much time with women. They’re fascinating, especially when it comes to weddings. Everyone has an opinion about everything at a wedding, including whether they believe in it at all. Straight girls, Femmes, Butches and Studs all have an opinion about what “should” happen for the wedding.
My response is, “that’s going to be amazing – I can’t wait to see it at your wedding.”
My sister, on the other hand, is an expert. She owned a wedding coordinating business for several years. You can see why she’s excited – she’ll finally get to plan the lesbian wedding she always hoped for. What’s cool is she knows me, she’s an expert and I trust her. In the year it’s going to take to plan and execute this, I know she’s got my back.
The only other person with an opinion I’m seeking is my mother.
She’ll say “whatever you want, it’s your wedding.”
Why yes it is.