By kassijay June 19, 2013 | 10:00 am (Updated: June 19, 2013 | 1:15 pm)
You’ve got the rough draft of weekend plans laid out. Booze? Check! Something rainbow? Check! Condoms? Of course! Lube? Just spit on your hand.
You’ve snagged arm candy for the pool parties. Bonus!—You can even tolerate him while mildly sober – at least until mid-day Sunday. You are winning!
But what to do after you’ve abandoned that bitch, your best friend is passed out in a bush (somewhere between the petting zoo and Youth Alley) and your other friends are busy chasing those Broke Straight Boys?
Hello?! Take your people watching to a new level with a queer scavenger hunt! In this wildly fascinating twist on an American tradition you hunt, collect, snap photos or even take videos you can keep on file for those times you’re feeling a little lonely.
1. Eight pairs of multicolor knee-height fuzzy boots
2. Cheap empty condom wrapper
3. Shirtless ribbon dancer
4. Something that starts with D
5. A real cop that could be confused for a stripper
6. Three people that can’t hold their liquor
7. Pedi-cab overflowing with queens that have glittery beards
8. Four sets of electrical tape pasties covering nipples
9. The most interesting way to wear leather
10. Seven flapping bulges in package enhancing underwear
11. Smiley sun burnt chub eating a funnel cake
12. Four different ways to wear a rainbow tutu
13. An act of prostitution
14. Something moist
15. Three signs about Jesus hating fags
16. Gangsta lesbian who could beat your ass
17. Toddler wearing a shirt that says “fag hag”
18. Chest hair from an individual in chaps with a baby Chihuahua
19. Man in pink overalls on Vespa
20. Bleached anus
By Nic Garcia June 13, 2013 | 11:22 am (Updated: June 13, 2013 | 12:28 pm)
A Durango Republican, hopeful to unseat U.S. Sen. Mark Udall, will be campaigning at Denver PrideFest this weekend with the ColoradoLog Cabin Republicans.
For Jamie McMillian, a small business owner, his stop at PrideFest will also be personal.
“My grandfather Thom, a 92 year old, decorated, WWII veteran is openly gay and has been with the same partner, Joel, for more than two decades,” McMillan said in a media release. “I am proud of him, the service he has shown to this country and the difficulties he has overcome in his life as a gay man. Like so many LGBT military servicemembers, my grandfather fought selflessly for the freedoms we enjoy today and now I am fighting for his.”
McMillian still needs to capture his party’s nomination if he hopes to go head-to-head with Udall in 2014.
Out Front has also learned the Denver GOP party will be marching in this year’s parade.
Udall, who has walked in Denver’s Pride Parade before, is scheduled to appear on Meet the Press this Sunday.
By Nic Garcia June 13, 2013 | 1:00 am (Updated: June 13, 2013 | 1:09 am)
Cecil Bethea is no stranger to regular readers of Out Front.
Bethea has been both a source and, most recently, a contributor to Out Front’s Panel, in which he and other community members regularly answer questions of topical conversations.
My favorite contribution of Bethea’s was this essay he submitted last year after PrideFest.
Today, Bethea and his partner of four decades Carl Shepard are sharing their story in an article and video produced by The Denver Post.
The article kicks of a series, “Summer of Love,” in which couples will “share their stories of love, dedication and commitment.”
“We’ve been into every county of Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nevada, Arizona and all but one in New Mexico,” says Bethea.
And if you want to know the cadence of their lives before illness and age changed the tempo, then those countless, restless, curious road trips speak of a romance neither man would ever claim for themselves.
By kassijay June 12, 2013 | 10:00 am (Updated: June 12, 2013 | 12:45 pm)
Dear topless girl,
I’m in awe as I watch your fun bags take turns whacking you in the face. What strength and dedication you have to endure that. Although I can’t see any trace of pain in those glazed over blue eyes. This is your moment and I have so many questions. Have you trained for this? Is this your destiny? Goodness it looks painful–I run with two sports bras to contain my monsters yet there you are. I didn’t know an identity crisis could exist for tatas. But yours would dominate a booty bounce competition, hands down.
I gather from the Longhorns tattoo in the center of your lower back that you are from Texas. Kudos for staying au natural. I hear Texas is the breast implant capital of the world. What peer pressure you must have been under. All the more reason to proudly let the ladies violently dance around atop your stomach. What would your mother think? Oh, good, you can get her opinion after that bear in the banana hammock posts that video he’s ecstatic to capture on his flip phone.
Is the little one around or did you find a baby sitter? The C-section scar looks mighty fresh. I hope you got your doctor’s approval for this. But who needs a doctor’s note to chase their dreams? Just take another swig from that rhinestone flask sticking out of your back pocket. While we are on the topic of your bottom half, let me say that if I were you I probably would have planned my wardrobe a little better for this occasion. A jean skirt? Really? Is that for maximum straddling capability?
Quite a crowd has gathered. Jaws open. Some cheering and overcome with amusement. Others appalled. Forget those haters. They are obviously jealous of your body confidence. Do you garden in the nude? Do you come from a family of nudists? Focus on the prize. Live like you were dying according to Tim McGraw. I get a sense you’re a country fan. “2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.” Except this bull’s name is Marley (according to the rhinestone placard on the rope you’re grasping). From the sounds of the gears screaming this may be Marley’s last ride. Last ride but BEST ride. It’s fate; you’re both fond of imitation diamonds pasted on your belongings.
Squeeze those thighs tight! He’s starting to buck harder. Keep your form! Keep your form! Straighten up that back! Damn, I forgot, your abdominal muscles are weak from the C-section. Rug burn on your nipples, did you plan for that?
Uh oh and there she tumbles. Oh geez the left one smacked her in the nose. Wear that bruise proud girlfriend. Wow I’ve never seen an old man move that fast! He’s excited to help her up. Wait isn’t he the homeless man that sits in a wheel chair at the intersection of High and King with his cardboard sign? Okay she is upright now sir, you can stop touching her. Shake him off girl and throw your hands in the air with pride!
Of course you do a little extra shimmy as you leap to your feet. Smile and wave your 15 minutes is over. Let me treat you to an overpriced beer and a henna tattoo, you sexy little number.
By kassijay June 5, 2013 | 10:00 am (Updated: June 4, 2013 | 9:51 pm)
Dear Mr. Chill-E Will-E:
I recently received a letter from your company stating I would no longer be considered in the application process due to “problematic driving history.” I believe I received this letter in error and your company should reconsider my candidacy for the position of Full-Time Ice Cream Truck Driver – Metro Area.
The problem with these motor vehicle reports is that they are black and white. They don’t allow us to be human. You’re a human, right? You have human children I’m sure of it. That’s probably what inspired you to go into the ice cream truck business, putting big smiles on chubby cheeks.
I don’t want kids. But those who don’t do, teach. Those who don’t birth children serve ice cream to them, is what I always say. You stripped me of my dream. The best hot fudge in the world couldn’t take that flavor out of your mouth.
I remember how giddy I would get as a kid when heard the ice cream truck’s jingles echoing off the bricks in the back alley. I’d break out my carefully choreographed “Do Your Ears Hang Low” dance. Mom would say, “Stop that! Idiot. Here’s two bucks. Get yourself dinner.” Her “stories” kept her so busy. I made it my mission to try the entire flavor board. Before my seventh birthday I had succeeded: Screwball, Lick–a–Color, Mickey Mouse Bar, Flintstones Push-Ups and Klondike Bar to name just a few. So as you see my passion is with mobile frozen treats. Cruising around at a slow creep in a multicolored van with an awning and a sticky floor, sharing happiness to the chillin’ – that’s for me (Notice the play on words. I’m also great at marketing).
The reason for my correspondence is not to offer excuses, but to provide a clearer understanding so you may overturn the prior outcome. These motor vehicle reports can be so hard to decipher so I will address all the “problematic” areas for you:
We can agree that under no circumstances should one run a red light. Not only is it against the law, but it is reckless and dangerous, and although I was rushing back to my apartment to unplug a flatiron that could have started a fire killing eight tenants, three dogs and one large–mouth bass, it was unacceptable. Thank God no one was injured from the incident. I’ve learned my lesson.
I don’t want to pardon the four speeding tickets. It was my body behind the wheel and my brain telling my foot to push the gas far enough to the floor to cause in excess of 15 to 30 miles above the speed limit, respectively. And I certainly can’t forget the 23 near–misses that could have resulted in citations (I keep count with slash marks under the mat on the floorboard). But pay close attention to the fact that I come from the video game generation. After countless hours playing Mario Kart, I can get confused. Players are encouraged to win by driving at high speeds and outmaneuvering their opponents. And the rewards: victory montages with confetti and digital trophies, new levels, new cars.
Wouldn’t you like a new car?
I’m sure my “MVR” failed to mention the extenuating circumstances that were going on outside my control when I ran into that hot dog vendor cart. Clear sunny day – not a cloud in sight. The roads were bone dry. Traffic was light. And what do you know? A yoga studio is letting its midday class out. All those soccer moms clad in synthetic form–enhancing fibers. You can’t fault me there. Please tell me how in the world you could peel your eyes away from that! Beautiful – like seeing a newborn humpback whale take his first leap from the Atlantic Ocean.
Scanning towards the bottom of the lengthy file, you can see my record has been clean for the last eight months minus the one hiccup of the citation for “driving on a closed road.” But eight months is nearly nine months, which is, as you know because of your own beautiful obese children, the gestation period of a human being. I am born anew.
As I have said before, humans make mistakes. What better way to right a mistake than with honesty? I feel it is exceedingly important to be honest with an employer. The minor hiccup involving the closed road was my fault completely. I take full responsibility. I will make no excuses. I was drunk. And high.
When I informed my roommate (who is patiently waiting on my 18–month–overdue rent check) of this unfortunate situation with your company, she told me I should tell you to do something unpleasant with an upside down Drumstick to your genitals. I told her to shove a Rocket Pop up her asshole, because I am a nice person. As you can see, my loyalty to the company is beyond measure. Already developing some tremendous employer–employee dynamics.
Looking forward to a time we can meet to discuss the position.
The Boy Scouts of America have officially voted to end their ban on openly gay scouts, while still maintaining the ban on openly gay adult members. More than 60% of the 1,400 national delegates voted in favor of ending the century-old ban at the group’s annual conference in Grapevine, Texas. The change will take effect on June 1.
“No youth may be denied membership in the Boy Scouts of America on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone,” says the resolution.
While the vote is seen as a major step forward for gay rights activist, the move does little to please many on both sides.
The group’s conservative base sees the move as a stray from the organization’s core teachings on morality and potentially alienates the religious . Some even say lifting the ban will destroy the group.
John Stemberger, founder of OnMyHonor.net, an organization committed to defending the ban, called the vote a “sad day for Scouting.” He said that the organization is now forced to “segregate” gay scouts from heterosexual ones by putting them in separate tents, or “put homosexual boys with other boys and put them at risk. “We wouldn’t put boys and girls sleeping together. Why? Because they’re attracted to each other,” Stemberger told reporters.
The Human Rights Campaign, while acknowledging the vote as a victory, insisted that the work is not done. ”Unfortunately, the new policy does not go far enough, leaving adult Eagle Scouts, scout leaders, and parents behind,” the group said in a statement.
BSA President Wayne Perry said the vote came after “an extensive dialogue within the scouting family.”
“No matter how you feel about this issue, kids are better off in scouting,” Perry told reporters. “Our mission is to serve every kid.”
By Alex Meyer May 24, 2013 | 3:00 pm (Updated: May 24, 2013 | 3:10 pm)
A Boulder teen thanked his graduating class during a commencement speech last week for their support after he came out. A video of the speech has been posted to Youtube, and has received attention from several national news sites.
Ted Chalfen, a graduating senior from Fairview High School, cut right to the point when delivering his commencement. “I’m going to skip all of the clichés I want to rattle off right now, and get right to the point — I’m gay,” Chalfen said. “Many, if not most, of the students here today know this, and most of them don’t really care.”
Chalfen went on to praise his classmates for their acceptance. “The response I have received, by and large, has been stunning. The amount of people who actually seemed happy to hear that I was gay outnumbered those who didn’t care, and those who didn’t care far outnumbered the small group who reacted negatively,” Chalfen said. The warm acceptance from his classmates was not what he expected. “I was prepared to endure taunting, social ostracization and even physical abuse,” he said, after he came out when entering high school.
He extended that praise to the parents of his classmates. “You brought your kids up the right way, and they are forever indebted to you for it,” said Chalfen. “The kindness and understanding that you all have shown me over the past four years speaks volumes about each and every one of you as human beings,” added Chalfen.
By Alex Meyer May 21, 2013 | 12:29 pm (Updated: May 21, 2013 | 12:50 pm)
Colorado State Sen. Pat Steadman, D-Denver, is one of 10 honorees who will receive the ‘Harvey Milk Champions of Change’ award from the White House Wednesday.
Colorado State Sen. Pat Steaman is set to receive a the “Harvey Milk Champions of Change” award at the White House for his long history advocating for the LGBT community. He is one of 10 recipients of the award, which will be presented by the President during a ceremony on Wednesday afternoon.
“It was a really a surprise when I found out about this,” Steadman told FOX31 Denver Monday afternoon. “To be invited to White House and given this award by the president, it doesn’t get much better than that.”
The Champions of Change program was established by the White House as a means to honor those “who are doing extraordinary things to empower and inspire members of their communities.”
In 1992, Steadman lead the charge against Amendment 2, a voter–approved state Constitutional amendment that banned anti-discrimination laws from protecting LGBT people in Colorado. The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the measure before it took effect. More recently, Steadman has been known introducing and advocating Colorado’s civil union bill, which passed this year and took effect May 1. on civil unions legislation that recently went into effect.
“I remember the days of losing this battle every year, and now it’s clear things are really changing quickly,” Steadman told Fox31. “It feels like all of our work is finally paying off.”
Out Front’s associate publisher, Nic Garcia, was awarded a first place prize for political enterprise reporting by the Colorado chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists at a reception May 17.
Garcia was recognized for his article, “Anger Spurs Action,” about the fallout from the death of the 2012 Colorado Civil Union Act.
The article detailed the last days of the Colorado General Assembly and was framed by the larger marriage equality debate across the United States.
Garcia reported activists and donors across the nation would work to re-establish a Democratic majority at the statehouse inorder to pass similar legislation in 2013.
The Top of the Rockies, a multi–state journalism contest, sponsored by the Colorado Society of Professional Journalists, handed out more than 100 other awards. Reporters from The Salt Lake City Tribune took second and third place in the same category as Garcia.